My Typical Weekend

 This is how I typically spend my weekends.

I used to wake up at around 11 a.m. However, nowadays I wake up naturally at around 8 to 9 a.m, so that's weird but also good. 

First thing I do once I wake up is drink coffee

 I used to only stay at home on weekends unless I have plans to go out with friends. But at one point I decided to live a more healthy and active life and not be so lazy to do anything anymore, so I made a decision to at least get out of the house once a day; and not just out to the convenience store beside my house, but actually walk a small distance away from home. So every weekend, I'll accompany my mom to the super market about a 15 minute walk from home, then to the fresh market which is another 10 minutes. 

If it's sunny out, we would take the park route

My favorite aisle: desserts 

They sell instant microwavable pancakes that I've been tempted to buy and take to my morning classes

Just random pictures of groceries

After we were done shopping for necessities (with the exception of cakes), we would head home at around 10 a.m, put away the groceries, then cook and eat lunch. 

At around 3 p.m I would start to get hungry again, but it's way too early for dinner, so I'd have some cake and green tea. 

I'll snack away while coloring in my "adult coloring book" as they call it. Some say people who color in these coloring books are pretentious. Personally, I love anything arts and crafts, as any of my close friends would know, and I find that coloring in these books takes my mind off things and it always makes me happy when they turn out great.

After I've procrastinated enough, at around 5 to 6 p.m I would start on my assignments.

Typically, I'm done by 7 p.m. Anymore than two hours and I'll start getting irritated and unmotivated, which ends in rushed assignments. After that it's dinner time and shower.

At around 8 to 9 p.m, I'll be done with everything. I would've showered and ate and finished all my chores, which means it's another relax time before going to bed. What I do during that time is watch some comedy series (I'm into The Big Bang Theory now) with a hot glass of milk. I'm weird in a way that I find it very hard to fall asleep during weekends, it's as if my body thinks that I didn't do enough to be tired on weekends so I shouldn't fall asleep so easily. That's why I always drink a glass of hot milk, which makes me extremely sleepy like a baby, just so I can fall asleep as soon as I finish it. 

At 11 p.m, I would be too sleepy from the milk to keep watching any more episodes, which means it's bedtime. 

That's what I typically do on weekends. Pretty boring, but I just thought I'd share. 

What do you do on weekends?

Being Single While in a Relationship

We're on a break.

I believe being alone is a part of being in a relationship.

Last Wednesday, my boyfriend and I had not so much a fight as a discussion filled with disappointment. Then on Thursday, we tried to talk it out. I know that I was in the wrong this time, so I apologized. However, it wasn't a good talk, because both of us were still smarting from yesterday's conflict.  We had thought that just by talking it out, everything will be resolved and return to normal. In the end, not only did we not resolve anything, we made things worse. Since we were both still fuming from yesterday, we weren't talking with love and care, but with anger and disappointment instead. To put it simply, both of us were trying to explain ourselves, but neither of us were willing to understand each other. Even simpler: both of us were talking, none of us were listening. 

After the talk on Thursday, we had thought that we're good now; simply because I asked, "we good?" and he answered, "we good." But we were not good. Through Friday, Saturday and Sunday, we would talk on the phone like usual. What's unusual, though, was the atmosphere. It felt like a rock was stuck in between our relationship, but we just couldn't find it. Our phone calls, though frequent, were cold and distant. The atmosphere was heavy like solid. Many times we just sat there holding our phones listening to each other breathe, because we knew we had to say something but we didn't know exactly what.  What else could we say? It felt like we had said everything, it also felt like we said nothing. 

Then I understood what was going on. He hasn't forgiven me, and that in turn made me unconsciously feel like a convict. Sometimes just an "I'm sorry" is not enough, which is the case here. And he has all the right to not be okay, it's not his obligation to forgive me. However, we weren't giving him a chance to move on by calling and suffocating each other everyday. 

So on Monday, I called and told him to give himself some time to think about whether or not he can forgive me. Otherwise, we're just gonna spend everyday calling each other out of politeness and a sense of duty, and it's exhausting. He agreed, and thus we've stopped contacting each other until now. Today is Thursday, so it's been three days since we had any contact at all. 

You might think it's been hard. Well, it hasn't been a breeze, but I won't deny that I've been enjoying the "single-phase". Don't get me wrong, I do miss him, but being alone without having to think about when he's going to call or when I have to call and having my own time to do my own stuff is good. Also, we both get time to really think about what was happening the past week, and what we're gonna do after this. Sometimes, we get caught up in all the turmoil of being in a relationship that we get confused. And when we fight, all we would be able to think of is "I'm gonna try to resolve this and make sure we don't break up after this while still giving him/her a piece of my mind." It sounds confusing, because that's how we're feeling and that's what we're making things turn into: confusing. When we're in a relationship, and we fight, our immediate instinct would be to "hold on like there's no tomorrow", and that doesn't help.

Once a while, you feel the need to be single while in a relationship, just so you can decide whether if you prefer to stay single or get back in the relationship. Giving each other a break gives each other a chance to be able to think more clearly about what's going on and what we should do. Right now, I'm waiting for his decision, and after that I'll give him mine. For now, I try to enjoy being single while in a relationship. 

Let's Try Again

It's been over a year since I paid any attention to my blog at all. I'm not gonna lie, the reason is because I feel that my blog is something of an embarrassment. Just read any of my old posts and you'll know what I mean. Even my blog design was embarrassing.The thing is I started blogging when I was in high school, around 17 years old, when I was as bratty as I could be. You know that awkward high school phase when you're not a grown up yet, but you keep thinking that you are and desperately try to show it, and ended up doing all sorts of stupid things instead? I was at that phase, but mine didn't stop once I got to college and dragged on all the way until junior year. So my blog posts, much like me in person, ended up being real bratty, real cringey, and real embarrassing. I just wouldn't grow up.

Then I stopped blogging, and when I look back at my old posts I would cringe horribly at my past self. I ended up avoiding my blog entirely, it was too much. 

The last time I posted anything was back when I was 21 years old. Now I'm 23, in my senior year at college, and I am surprised at myself for how very different I am now compared to just a year ago. The 21 year old me was still a kid who refused to grow up. Now I'm 23, and I finally got my life together, planned and organized, and has finally stepped into adulthood. Kinda late, but here I am. Which is why I've decided to blog again. I feel that since I am in a much better place and have a more mature mind set now, I probably wouldn't embarrass myself anymore. Let's hope I'm right.

I won't say that I'll blog regularly, let's be honest I probably won't. But at least I know that I have a place for me to share whatever I want whenever I want. My blog is going to be completely random, random topics at random times. It's just going to be about my life and such. I guess you can say it's sort of like the digital version of my notebook that I take every where with me.

I was very tempted to delete all my old posts and get a fresh start, but I have decided to leave them be. I'll keep them as a reminder of how much I've grown and changed throughout. 

So there you have it. I'm back, and I'll behave better this time.😊