Introverts and All You Need to Know About Them

           Lots of people view introverted personality type as a weakness, a flaw. My whole family on my dad's side definitely does. Every time I stay over at my dad's, that's what he and all my other relatives would try to train me out of. They would tell me to get out there and talk to people, get the hell out of my comfort zone. Everybody would tell me, "You won't get anywhere in life if you're so introverted." Well, here's the thing:

1. We Take Our Time.                    

 We take our time, and a little bit of coaxing but not too much. Its fine to ask us to step out of our comfort zone, just don't come off too strong and forceful. My family would always ask me to get out and get out NOW, and that would always back fire. The more you rush us, the more stressed and scared we're going to be, and that'll just make us retreat farther back into our bubble. Don't rush us, we'll get there, you just need to let us do it in our own pace.

 

2. We're Not Completely Mute

We can talk to people, we just don't like to. My dad genuinely thinks that I can't talk to strangers at all. Obviously, that's not true, since I've worked in McDonald's before and my job was to talk to countless strangers. It's not that I can't talk to strangers, it's just that I prefer not to if I can choose. If I can't choose, like if there's a job interview, I will talk to people and have a long conversation if I have to. 

3. We Choose Who to Be Extroverted With

There are two people in my life that I am completely extroverted with, and that's my best friend Heather and my mom. I'm not even extroverted with my dad, hence why he thought I'm mute. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and my dad moved out, so I don't get to spend much time with him and he doesn't know me very well. I have quite a few friends who I can/used to chat with for hours, but with them I don't completely turn on extrovert mode. Even some of my close friends I don't completely open up to. This is because I only do that with people who I trust and know for sure that they won't judge me and that they understand me the most. Introverts only have a few friends who we are very close with and trust completely, and we'd like to keep it that way. Having a lot of friends just sound exhausting to us.

4. We Have Time Limits for Socializing

I have time limits for when I talk and socialize with people, and the more of a stranger you are to me, the more limited our time is. Just last week, a woman asked me about taking the bus to Yangmingshan at the bus stop because she's never went there before. My University is on Yangmingshan and I was going to class, so I told her which bus to take and we had a friendly chat about Yangmingshan. We chat for 10 minutes until our bus finally arrived. We both got on, but I chose the seat a couple of rows behind her. She seemed a bit confused as to why I didn't sit next to her when we were just chatting happily a few seconds ago. I didn't dislike our little chat; in fact it was quite nice. I just didn't feel like chatting with her for the whole 40 minute bus ride. 10 minutes was the time limit, and I was starting to feel drained and overwhelmed and wanted to take a step back. It was time to retreat back into my bubble, and it was no offense to her. Believe us when we say the infamous phrase: "It's not you, it's me."

 

5. We Enjoy Being Alone 

You know how extroverts hate being alone? Well, introverts love being alone. For extroverts, being with people makes them feel energized. But for introverts, being with people makes us feel tired and drained. Being alone doesn't make us lonely. We like being alone, but it doesn't mean we're a loner and hate people. In fact, I enjoy being alone and enjoy the company of friends occasionally. It's like phones and batteries. When we're out socializing, after a period of time our batteries get low, and when we're alone we recharge. Some people feel alive and hyped when they're out with people, I feel alive and thrive when I'm alone. 

6. You Need Us in Your Life

My family (a very big family too; 2 parents, 11 aunts and uncles and 8 cousins) consists of 99 percent talkative extroverts. The other 1 percent? Me! That's why all my relatives keep trying to get me to be like them, because I'm the black sheep in the family. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but they need me and they don't even know it. They keep telling me to be more talkative, but they keep coming to me when they want someone to talk to. Why? Because since I'm not a good talker, I'm a good listener. You can tell that someone's not really listening if they give you short and vague replies like "oh" and "I see". Some people not only don't listen to you, they even cut you off. People like to talk to me about what's bothering them because I listen, I don't interrupt, and I give thoughtful replies and even suggestions if I'm feeling confident. Everybody needs an introvert in their life because we listen, and not a lot of people are willing to do that. Can you imagine a world with only extroverts and everybody talks but nobody listens?

Introverts are not always shy or timid. If you're talking about people who don't go out and talk to others at all. That's not being introverted, that's having social anxiety, and it's not the same thing. Being introverted means you enjoy having your own space being in your own thoughts and getting creative, it doesn't mean you hate people or that you're anti-social. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, if only people can understand us better.